The World Cup! Bowl season! The NBA! NFL action on Saturday! What could possibly go wrong for bettors everywhere? Glad you asked. Buckets of tears are back and ready to be filled.
Indianapolis Colts at Minnesota Vikings
The Vikings came into the game with a chance to clinch their division and the Colts had nothing to play for. Add to that an injury to star running back Jonathan Taylor as the game got started and there was no way Vikings bettors would be getting lumps of coal in their stockings, right? Welllllllll…
It looked like Santa came early this year, and he was a Colts fan — or at least he wanted to make sure Colts bettors had their best Christmas in years with this play.
Colts D/ST 2+ Touchdowns was +6500 @DKSportsbook ✅
It cashed in the first half 😳 pic.twitter.com/cxOu2G5zjs
— Action Network (@ActionNetworkHQ) December 17, 2022
The Colts went into the half with a 33-point lead and fantasy football teams in their first-round playoff matchups hit the eggnog early and often in this one. I mean, there’s nothing better than no Jonathan Taylor and a useless touchdown by KJ Osborn instead of Justin Jefferson, right?
Jonathan Taylor out for the rest of the game.
Fantasy owners in the playoffs: pic.twitter.com/wsCgtG2l7e
— John Ewing 🦁 (@johnewing) December 17, 2022
Four buckets of joyful big money win tears for Colts bettors and fantasy seasons crumbling.
BUT WAIT
As a Raiders fan, I should know better than to write anything until the clock hits 0:00. Remember when I joked about useless touchdowns? Well… Jefferson still had plenty of useful work to do in this — but fantasy owners were still livid even as a 33-0 game suddenly came down to 36-28 late in the fourth quarter.
In a game that started with Jonathan Taylor, Justin Jefferson, Dalvin Cook, Adam Thielen, TJ Hockenson and Michael Pittman, Jr. the five TDs so far have naturally been scored by:
FB CJ Ham
WR KJ Osborn
RB Deon Jackson
LB JoJo Domann
S Julian Blackmon— Field Yates (@FieldYates) December 17, 2022
This thing went from wild to unreal, though, when a clear fumble recovery by the Vikings was nullified by the official’s ruling that the runner was down. The Vikings still got the ball back after review, but because of the ruling on the field the touchdown was wiped out. How?! Look, technology exists for a reason and I can’t for the life of me understand why it isn’t used to the fullest extent. I understand the rule, but it stinks. Even worse? An unsportsmanlike penalty called on the Vikings clearly pushed them out of field goal range. Why did they commit the penalty? They were mad at the bath officiating. At least give them a “my bad,” ref.
But we all know you can’t stop midday Kirk. Kirk Cousins captained the biggest comeback in NFL history, culminating with this big win for somebody, right?
Down 33-0 at halftime, the Vikings were +9000 on the live moneyline @PointsBetUSA…
Now they are tied 🤯 pic.twitter.com/fRL4inQY5b
— Action Network (@ActionNetworkHQ) December 17, 2022
It took overtime, a stupid delay of game penalty by the Colts and all but three seconds of overtime, but the Vikings made history. Now, for the rest of the time, when your favorite team is down by 30 at the half you can say, “No biggie. I’ve seen this comeback before.”
Five buckets of deleted tweets and “never doubted it” tears.
New England Patriots at Las Vegas Raiders
Look, the Raiders are obviously trying to kill me (and all bettors) this season. And after last week’s collapse against the Rams I thought I had seen it all. Then, this happened:
ONE OF THE CRAZIEST ENDINGS YOU WILL EVER SEE. The Patriots try to lateral to try to score with no time left. On the pass back, Chandler Jones steps in front and takes it back for a touchdown. Madness.
https://twitter.com/actionnetworkhq/status/1604634576327950336?s=46&t=3YmMIfwKexwcVO9mbgFmAw
— ACTION NETWORK (@ACTIONNETWORKHQ) December 18, 2022
That’s right, if you had the ‘pick six lateral for a touchdown by a former Patriot against the Patriots in a tie game with no time left on the clock for the win’ on your Wild Raiders Endings Bingo Card for 2022, congrats on getting to yell BINGO! for the world to hear.
On a day that saw the Jags stun the Cowboys and Tom Brady blow a huge lead, NOTHING was more stunning than this. Also, I think I owe my neighbor a plate of Christmas Cookies after the naughty list language I was using at full volume while this happened. Side note: there’s still no such thing as a tuck rule.
5 joyous buckets of finally happy raiders ending tears